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What's something funny that's happened to you that has totally killed a sex session?

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    What's something funny that's happened to you that has totally killed a sex session?

    I thought to make this because I have a short funny story. One day, my dogs and I had just gotten back from a long and glorious hike out at a state park in Illinois. We got to play in the creek, see some sights etc and I came home with two sopping wet dogs. Well, after lounging around for a bit they decided it was playtime. My husky prefers to be blown, so while I was laying next to him i just started stroking his sheath and blowing him. I had my eyes closed, just enjoying things when my hand brushed across something odd. I opened my eyes and lo and behold he had a huge engorged tick just stuck onto him midway down his sheath! I don't know how I didn't feel it while stroking him, but I had to stop blowing him and pull the tick off. He still got off but it sure wasn't as fun as it could have been.
    Do yourself a favor and have some substance.

    #2
    Think most of us had had unwanted interruptions from time to time, the worst time for me came when I was playing with my Rotty. He was giving me his horny dance, and I rarely said no to him lol, so even tho it was the middle of the day I decided to consent. I undressed and he started jumping all over me, when I heard the doorbell ... shit. I figured they'd just go away, but then I saw both my parents trying to peak in thru the window lol. The drapes were closed and the door locked so they couldn't see anything, but they had a key so they could get in. Double shit, so I got quickly dressed, and went to the door. "What took you so long to answer" they asked, and with a straight face I replied "Sorry, was tied up"
    The more humans I meet, the more I like animals

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      #3
      Oh, god. When I was younger my dad nearly walked in on me. He knocked at the door and I told him he REALLY did not want to come in, and that I'd come out as soon as possible. The session was ended short, and when I opened the door a bit later my dad eyed me, and then the dog, and decide to not question anything.

      ~Levo

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        #4
        Originally posted by Levo View Post
        Oh, god. When I was younger my dad nearly walked in on me. He knocked at the door and I told him he REALLY did not want to come in, and that I'd come out as soon as possible. The session was ended short, and when I opened the door a bit later my dad eyed me, and then the dog, and decide to not question anything.

        ~Levo
        Hahaha, definitely almost been there back in the day. luckily my husky ain't big and we had a long squeaky wood hallway leading to my bedroom so I could tell pretty well in advance if anyone was making their way toward our room. One close call I had, though, was going to grab breakfast in the morning, mistakenly deciding not to wear a shirt despite the fun times the night prior. My dad saw my back(Husky prefers keeping his paws up top) and inquired where those scars I had came from. I my stomach dropped, but I just quickly replied that I didn't know and they must have been from wrestling with my dog. He seemed to buy it but I'm still not 100% sure what the status of my family's knowledge of my relationship with my dogs is. Luckily, they are all pretty reasonable and open minded people so it's not something I worry about.
        Do yourself a favor and have some substance.

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          #5
          Originally posted by btwiamazoophile View Post

          He seemed to buy it but I'm still not 100% sure what the status of my family's knowledge of my relationship with my dogs is. Luckily, they are all pretty reasonable and open minded people so it's not something I worry about.
          It's funny you should mention this. Believe it or not, I explained my interests to both my mother and father a year after I had moved out. After a bit of explaining my mother seemed to be OK with it, she'd suspected as much, anyways, with how much time I'd invested into learning about dogs (and their anatomy), and the clear compassion I had shown to the family dog, and any other dogs I had worked with. My dad took a while longer to come around, but he eventually did. As much as it was VERY nerve-wracking, as you could imagine, I'm happy my parents were able to tackle the subject and eventually accept me for who I was. I've talked with/heard about all sorts of stories pertaining to zoos caught in the act or coming out to their parents, and the outcomes being very bad.

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            #6
            One day my parents almost found out about my hobby. I was knotting with my dog when I heard the key turn in the keyhole of the apartment. I was wearing a dress that I lifted up during sex... His knot ... I was more worried about his knot so he could hide back before they went into the room... I had to desperately simulate cleaning to justify the blush on the cheeks)))
            Last edited by Terra; 03-28-2019, 05:26 PM.

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              #7
              I remember one day getting knotted by my dog and I quickly checked my Discord for recent messages on my phone. I accidentally started a call with a friend and he joined the call within seconds. Obviously I was pent up and moaning to myself, and I didn’t know I was in an active call...because I had closed my phone seconds after making the call by mistake.

              i explained to my friend I was just jerking off.

              Now I stay on push to talk exclusively and I never looked back.
              Last edited by Luna; 03-28-2019, 07:38 PM.

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                #8
                Originally posted by Levo View Post

                It's funny you should mention this. Believe it or not, I explained my interests to both my mother and father a year after I had moved out. After a bit of explaining my mother seemed to be OK with it, she'd suspected as much, anyways, with how much time I'd invested into learning about dogs (and their anatomy), and the clear compassion I had shown to the family dog, and any other dogs I had worked with. My dad took a while longer to come around, but he eventually did. As much as it was VERY nerve-wracking, as you could imagine, I'm happy my parents were able to tackle the subject and eventually accept me for who I was. I've talked with/heard about all sorts of stories pertaining to zoos caught in the act or coming out to their parents, and the outcomes being very bad.
                i'm glad someone else had a good experience with that.
                it's a very risky decision to come out, and everyone has to judge if and to whom for themself. i know many don't feel the need to ever do so, and that is good for them. others, myself included, just can't live with our orientation being utterly restricted knowledge. for me, disclosing my zoophlia has been unnecessary on some occasions, particularly when i was a teenager and didn't yet realize how hostile the world can be toward us, and other times necessary, as in a few times over the past couple of years circumstances demanded that i be open with close friends because the obviousness that i wasn't straight and wasn't gay was making certain situations intolerable and if i didn't come out with it there would have been possibly fatal damage done to friendships i cherish.
                i came out to my parents as a teenager, with mixed results. mother couldn't handle it, should have known better than to let her know. father didn't get it but wasn't too freaked out.
                in the long run it turned out to be a good thing my father knew because 20 years later he was the one who encouraged me to find other zoos so i could talk to people who'd understand me. it was a very powerful experience to be accepted as i am and loved, and not have to feel like there's that-thing-we-don't-acknowledge hanging around all the time. i've gotten simliar acceptance since from a couple of nonzoo friends (and considerably more luke-warm acceptance from a third), and it's amazing what that can do in terms of reaffirming faith in people.
                i think it's important, too. as more and more laws are passed against animal abuse in which genuine zoophilia is equated with criminality of various kinds every one of us who is known to nonzoos become evidence of the justice or injustice of the claims, attitudes and prohibitions and punishments being leveled against us. probably we simply don't have critical mass to precipitate a change in the predominant view of whatever rest of our species considers us to be, but even on an individual scale it can be a very empowering experience to have any non-zoophile accept and embrace you as you are. not because your personal worth is determined by their opinion of you, any more than the negative opinions so prevalent do, but because it is proof that they're not all against us. they're not all intolerant and thoughtless and only too happy to scapegoat us, and either positively want or else be utterly indifferent to our ever increasing marginalization. some of them really are openminded enough, honest with themselves enough, to accept another person on their own terms, even when those terms lie inarguably beyond the limits of societal permission.

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                  #9
                  Husband home unexpectedly 😁😁
                  Attached Files

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by cookiemonster View Post

                    It was a very powerful experience to be accepted as i am and loved, and not have to feel like there's that-thing-we-don't-acknowledge hanging around all the time. i've gotten simliar acceptance since from a couple of nonzoo friends (and considerably more luke-warm acceptance from a third), and it's amazing what that can do in terms of reaffirming faith in people.
                    i think it's important, too.
                    Ya, this was one of the big motivators for me to explain my then zoo-exclusive alignment to my parents and some friends. I'm not one to keep secrets with those who are close to me, and, in fact, to be a close friend of mine is to be ok with who I am!

                    Originally posted by cookiemonster View Post

                    Probably we simply don't have critical mass to precipitate a change in the predominant view of whatever rest of our species considers us to be, but even on an individual scale.
                    I used to write for a European zoo activism group, providing the material for them to effectively protest. The group was raided and shut down when new laws passed prohibiting their existence. At that time I had to abandon ship and lay low- I left the online spokes of the zoo community for a few years... however, I made some astute observations over the time I was working with them. I don't know if it's a critical mass problem. There are a TON of zoos out there who feel ostracized by the hyper-sexuality this community often contains (nothing wrong with this, of course, but it's an element to consider), which is why when sites like knotty.me come up, a SFW zoo forum if you could believe it, there's all sorts of people seeming to appear out of thin air in support.

                    What I think needs to be done is more zoos should come out: zoos who are upstanding individuals and who don't define themselves by their alignment alone, individuals who are just good people who happen to be zoophiles. I think taking a step back from the zealous 'I fuck dogs and I'm proud of it' sort of approach, which can be very jarring, is a strong strategy here, and that for progress to be made we should nurse moderation. Zealotry can come out after progress is made (think pride parades), when having a public persona affiliated with the community is safe.

                    Meh, just my two cents!

                    ~Levo

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                      #11
                      I've had a few times ruined by my dad/step mom coming home, and more recently my dad and his wife and kids. Luckily they never walked into my room and i had time, but it was a nerve wracking minute as I got some underware on and acted like I was on my computer.

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by bitchpolly View Post
                        Husband home unexpectedly 😁😁
                        Oops........

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                          #13
                          I wanted to try to give a gelding some oral attention (first time), but while he had his tool out, a couple of flies ended up in my mouth and I started coughing. The gelding of course didn't like me coughing on him down there and walked away.

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                            #14
                            Lol, I like this thread. Well my story is short .I normally don't get much time or privacy to enjoy this practice. So I'm mostly just laid back about it and I'm always open eyed to see if I can do something. And it happened once that I got the chance and two beautiful hours ahead. But in the middle time before the action the dog started putting her head on the grass downstairs and I looked out to find she was placing her snout to where my brother lazily dumped the kitty box, the dog stinked and voila! Turn off.

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                              #15
                              Giving anal to a new sub who then farted during the act. Poor thing was mortified.
                              Last edited by Zebedee; 05-06-2019, 04:43 PM. Reason: Typo

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