Horse Breed with the smallest cocks?

Equidae69

Tourist
I was curious if any of you guys knew what breed of Horse has the smallest penis; I'm looking for just that breed.
Thanks!
 

pferdefreund

Citizen of Zooville
Falabella or similar, like American Miniature Horse.

Individuals vary wildely, just as with humans. But the mean and standard deviation of size will scale with general body size. So even the most hung Falabella (among his breed peers) will never outclass a Suffolk Punch stallion.
 

Equidae69

Tourist
Falabella or similar, like American Miniature Horse.

Individuals vary wildely, just as with humans. But the mean and standard deviation of size will scale with general body size. So even the most hung Falabella (among his breed peers) will never outclass a Suffolk Punch stallion.
How big are Falabella cocks generally? And American Miniature Horses as well?
 

Equidae69

Tourist
Be very careful around American Miniature Horses. The sole standard for many is height. That means a dwarf is equated to a midget. Some are regular horses with very short legs.
So they'll still have massive dicks? Or are there other issues that I don't know?
 

Painted Pony

Citizen of Zooville
It varies from individual to individual. Some warmbloods would be pleasant to hand-hold, so to speak, and some pony stallions might rip you to pieces. Size is a contributing factor, but not a deciding one. Looking for a pony or mini is the best idea, but no guarantee. You might find a Clydesdale with a nine inch cock. Exceeding rare, but not impossible.
 

Equidae69

Tourist
It varies from individual to individual. Some warmbloods would be pleasant to hand-hold, so to speak, and some pony stallions might rip you to pieces. Size is a contributing factor, but not a deciding one. Looking for a pony or mini is the best idea, but no guarantee. You might find a Clydesdale with a nine inch cock. Exceeding rare, but not impossible.
I see I see I see. Well, which kinda horse or pony would be the best bet, then? The smaller cock the better.
Oh jeez, a Clydesdale with a tiny cock? That would be glorious! 😍
 

Equidae69

Tourist
Each according to their own. There is attraction beyond the physical.
Well, I meant from more a statistical point of view. Like if I want a horse/pony/equid with a 6 inch dick, what would be my best bet? Should I just look around for stallion's with small dicks? If so, how would I be able to check that?
 

dogluver101

Give a dog a bone
Staff member
Well, I meant from more a statistical point of view. Like if I want a horse/pony/equid with a 6 inch dick, what would be my best bet? Should I just look around for stallion's with small dicks? If so, how would I be able to check that?
You're not just going to find a specific horse with a specific cock size. That's not how cocks work. :husky_eyeroll:
 

Equidae69

Tourist
You're not just going to find a specific horse with a specific cock size. That's not how cocks work. :husky_eyeroll:
Well, of course, yeah. I meant more a general ball park. Apologies!
Would it just be ponies then? For generally having the smaller packages?
 
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UR20Z

Citizen of Zooville
Be very careful around American Miniature Horses. The sole standard for many is height. That means a dwarf is equated to a midget. Some are regular horses with very short legs.
Absolutely true. And worse, far too many of them have a *SEVERE* case of "short-guy syndrome". There are exceptions - I've known absolutely sweet "pocket-pony" type minis - but way too many of them I've dealt with over the years have been vicious little assholes that would have been better off drowned at birth.
 

UR20Z

Citizen of Zooville
Well, of course, yeah. I meant more a general ball park. Apologies!
Would it just be ponies then? For generally having the smaller packages?
Dude, there simply IS NO WAY TO PREDICT. Exctly like a human, a horse is hung like he's hung. That 7'6" foot tall basketball player might have a schlong 10 inches long, or he might barely be packing 6 inches on a really good day. Until he drops his pants, you have no fucking idea! That midget over there might well be packing meat longer than yours. Or it might be hard to tell by looking that he even HAS a cock. And again, until *THAT PARTICULAR GUY* drops his pants, you've got exactly zero hope of knowing how he's hung.

EXACTLY the same thing applies to horses. I've seen (and helped aim) minis with cocks bigger than a quarter-horse. I've also seen a quarter-horse who barely had enough dick to put it into a mare. Until you see *THE INDIVIDUAL HORSE*, you haven't got, and CANNOT HAVE, any clue what size his cock will be.

You're asking for an answer that doesn't exist. Give it up.
 

Equidae69

Tourist
Dude, there simply IS NO WAY TO PREDICT. Exctly like a human, a horse is hung like he's hung. That 7'6" foot tall basketball player might have a schlong 10 inches long, or he might barely be packing 6 inches on a really good day. Until he drops his pants, you have no fucking idea! That midget over there might well be packing meat longer than yours. Or it might be hard to tell by looking that he even HAS a cock. And again, until *THAT PARTICULAR GUY* drops his pants, you've got exactly zero hope of knowing how he's hung.

EXACTLY the same thing applies to horses. I've seen (and helped aim) minis with cocks bigger than a quarter-horse. I've also seen a quarter-horse who barely had enough dick to put it into a mare. Until you see *THE INDIVIDUAL HORSE*, you haven't got, and CANNOT HAVE, any clue what size his cock will be.

You're asking for an answer that doesn't exist. Give it up.
I see I see. Alrighty, I'll drop it. But, if it's alright, I do have two questions that may have a more finite answer:
If I want to check a horses dick size before purchase, how could I do so without seeming like a weirdo? Or making it clear to the seller about my intentions with this lad?
And what's the average penis size of a pony then? I know it varies, but theres still gotta be an average.
 

UR20Z

Citizen of Zooville
I see I see. Alrighty, I'll drop it. But, if it's alright, I do have two questions that may have a more finite answer:
If I want to check a horses dick size before purchase, how could I do so without seeming like a weirdo? Or making it clear to the seller about my intentions with this lad?
And what's the average penis size of a pony then? I know it varies, but theres still gotta be an average.

For the first question: You can't. Until he's in fully erect, ready to shove it into a mare mode, you'll NEVER know what his actual size is. The only way to see him in that mode is in the breeding shed/comparable situation. Unless you can demonstrate to a potential seller that you're qualified for it (and I'd bet my last nickel it's impossible for you to do that - I'll come back to that point in a bit) you're not going to get near enough to the breeding shed to look inside, let alone see what's going on in there. If you're trying to buy a horse, you're going to be looked at as a complete nutbar, at the very least, if you show any interest at all in his cock. "Normal people" don't care about a horses's cock. Even horse-people, who know that his dong needs occasional "maintenance", tend to ignore/forget the fact that a horse even HAS a cock other than in the breeding shed or on the day it's time to break out the Excalibur and de-crud it. (And if you need to ask "What's "the Excalibur", you demonstrate to any qualified horse person that you don't know enough to own a male horse, whether or not he has balls)

Simply put, there is no way to "shop for a horse with the right size cock" without cluing the seller that you're some kind of freak, and any horse person who's worth half a bent shit and gets that vibe is going to tell you, in one form or another, perhaps polite, perhaps with violence, to go fuck yourself. And rightly so, IMO. A horse, ESPECIALLY A STALLION, is not a sex toy you can shop around for.

For the second: Which kind of pony? Shetland? Connemara? Assateague island pony? One of the umpteen other recognized pony breeds?

Look, here's the skinny: You DON'T shop for a horse based on cock size. Period. You pays yer nickel, and you takes yer chances. You stumble across one that's compatible that you've bought for whatever other reason. Once you've bought him, if he's not compatible, you've still committed to 20-30 years of giving him the best life you can, even if that means you never get to do so much as SEE his cock, never mind touch it or suck on it.

Further, despite how harsh it may sound, here's something coming at you from somebody with 50+ years of actual in-the-barn, hands-on, doing-it-for-a-living horse experience:
Based on what you've had to say so far, I'd have to judge that you aren't qualified to own a gelding, never mind a stallion - Your questions demonstrate to me that you simply don't have the knowledge to keep EITHER of you safe and healthy. Take it personal and get bent out of shape over it if you like, but it's not intended to be a putdown - simply a statement of fact based on the knowledge of someone who has worked with horses for as long as he's been physically big enough to swing a miniature shit-fork, in every situation from the family farm, to the breeding shed, to "rent-a-ride" stables where you can see anywhere from one to dozens of customers every day display every possible level of ignorance about the critters that exists, every single day. From what you've had to say so far, I wouldn't sell you a horse of any kind except maybe a plushie. You demonstrate with your questions that you simply don't know enough about horses to do anything but put the poor beast through an extended tour of horsey-hell before either having it put down, or neglecting it to death.
 

Equidae69

Tourist
For the first question: You can't. Until he's in fully erect, ready to shove it into a mare mode, you'll NEVER know what his actual size is. The only way to see him in that mode is in the breeding shed/comparable situation. Unless you can demonstrate to a potential seller that you're qualified for it (and I'd bet my last nickel it's impossible for you to do that - I'll come back to that point in a bit) you're not going to get near enough to the breeding shed to look inside, let alone see what's going on in there. If you're trying to buy a horse, you're going to be looked at as a complete nutbar, at the very least, if you show any interest at all in his cock. "Normal people" don't care about a horses's cock. Even horse-people, who know that his dong needs occasional "maintenance", tend to ignore/forget the fact that a horse even HAS a cock other than in the breeding shed or on the day it's time to break out the Excalibur and de-crud it. (And if you need to ask "What's "the Excalibur", you demonstrate to any qualified horse person that you don't know enough to own a male horse, whether or not he has balls)

Simply put, there is no way to "shop for a horse with the right size cock" without cluing the seller that you're some kind of freak, and any horse person who's worth half a bent shit and gets that vibe is going to tell you, in one form or another, perhaps polite, perhaps with violence, to go fuck yourself. And rightly so, IMO. A horse, ESPECIALLY A STALLION, is not a sex toy you can shop around for.

For the second: Which kind of pony? Shetland? Connemara? Assateague island pony? One of the umpteen other recognized pony breeds?

Look, here's the skinny: You DON'T shop for a horse based on cock size. Period. You pays yer nickel, and you takes yer chances. You stumble across one that's compatible that you've bought for whatever other reason. Once you've bought him, if he's not compatible, you've still committed to 20-30 years of giving him the best life you can, even if that means you never get to do so much as SEE his cock, never mind touch it or suck on it.

Further, despite how harsh it may sound, here's something coming at you from somebody with 50+ years of actual in-the-barn, hands-on, doing-it-for-a-living horse experience:
Based on what you've had to say so far, I'd have to judge that you aren't qualified to own a gelding, never mind a stallion - Your questions demonstrate to me that you simply don't have the knowledge to keep EITHER of you safe and healthy. Take it personal and get bent out of shape over it if you like, but it's not intended to be a putdown - simply a statement of fact based on the knowledge of someone who has worked with horses for as long as he's been physically big enough to swing a miniature shit-fork, in every situation from the family farm, to the breeding shed, to "rent-a-ride" stables where you can see anywhere from one to dozens of customers every day display every possible level of ignorance about the critters that exists, every single day. From what you've had to say so far, I wouldn't sell you a horse of any kind except maybe a plushie. You demonstrate with your questions that you simply don't know enough about horses to do anything but put the poor beast through an extended tour of horsey-hell before either having it put down, or neglecting it to death.
I see I see.
Well, if that's the case, I very well may not buy a horse then in the first place, which may be for the better as you said.
I've worked on a farm a few times, but never with horses. Mostly with goat's. So your assumption of me having no knowledge of horses is indeed true! I've been looking into how to raise and ride one, but sort of fell into this stupor that I'm in now.
Based off how I feel now, however, I'm not gonna get a horse. I feel as if I'd be doing it for the wrong reasons. I'll just stick with like, farming chickens I suppose. They're nice! Eggs, meat, pretty solid animal to farm.
But hey, thank you man. I do appreciate your honesty and openness to call me out. Definitely taking myself off the market for that now!
 
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pferdefreund

Citizen of Zooville
Well, you can always take some riding lessons, or even some lessons in general horse keeping, and get started slowly. Not knowning it all right now doesn't mean you will never know it. Just start slow and low and easy. For the sex thing buy yourself a small to mid-sized bad dragon or similar horse dildo with realistic firmness and see, if this is even your thing to physically accommodate that. You have the advantage to try that privately at home and without a horse and all the potential problems attached to it. It's also very cheap to find that maybe you'd be happy with something else. All you spent then is 80 Dollars for a toy.

I can think of a way to check the potential lover's size, but first - as the others said - please learn more about horses.
 

Equidae69

Tourist
Well, you can always take some riding lessons, or even some lessons in general horse keeping, and get started slowly. Not knowning it all right now doesn't mean you will never know it. Just start slow and low and easy. For the sex thing buy yourself a small to mid-sized bad dragon or similar horse dildo with realistic firmness and see, if this is even your thing to physically accommodate that. You have the advantage to try that privately at home and without a horse and all the potential problems attached to it. It's also very cheap to find that maybe you'd be happy with something else. All you spent then is 80 Dollars for a toy.

I can think of a way to check the potential lover's size, but first - as the others said - please learn more about horses.
True, true. That sounds like a good plan. I'll look into see if there are some classes for riding and care of horses that I can learn from. I don't wanna hurt the horse, or out him through pain, and while I felt I came into this with the wrong attitude I may just come out of it with a better one. Thank you all.
I'll see if I can get some classes here, and I'll report back to you guys with updates if you'd like! I'd also assume this is a great place to learn about this kinda stuff?
And now I'm curious: what's the way to check? Out of curiosity.
 

Renee

Tourist
Just speaking of my own situation, I'd try to find a shetland pony that didn't have a real long cock. I've been around shetland and other breeds, and I fully know their disposition, so don't worry about that.

I'd hope to find one with a shorter cock, but it could be quite thick. I don't think checking in a very exact way is possible, but studs do drop their cock out a lot. One would have to spend enough time around the relaxing stud ahead of time and just try to eyeball his size and how much he's showing of it. I know horses well enough that I can do that, but I don't know that a newbie could.

I'd need at least a drafty shetland because I need to have an excuse as to why I'd have a smaller horse, since I'm a rider. He'd have to pull a cart for me.


Finding just a 11" cock would be nice, and then move with him to some extent so that it doesn't go in fully.
 

caikgoch

Esteemed Citizen of ZV
Just speaking of my own situation, I'd try to find a shetland pony that didn't have a real long cock. I've been around shetland and other breeds, and I fully know their disposition, so don't worry about that.

I'd hope to find one with a shorter cock, but it could be quite thick. I don't think checking in a very exact way is possible, but studs do drop their cock out a lot. One would have to spend enough time around the relaxing stud ahead of time and just try to eyeball his size and how much he's showing of it. I know horses well enough that I can do that, but I don't know that a newbie could.

I'd need at least a drafty shetland because I need to have an excuse as to why I'd have a smaller horse, since I'm a rider. He'd have to pull a cart for me.


Finding just a 11" cock would be nice, and then move with him to some extent so that it doesn't go in fully.
There's another factor to consider, leg length. If you get a short legged horse, you will have to crouch to let him reach you. You can regulate his penetration by how much you squat.
 

Mare Lover 1975

Citizen of Zooville
I used to breed great dane sized minis, one of my studs was more than mares his size could handle.

Not mine but the right size.

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